went out yesterday with an invisible boy who loves ben sherman with a passion. sat through conversations with other women and i thought i heard myself speaking. smacked out 300 and then i had a conversation with another man. roamed the empty quiet streets and found myself outside and inside the dark tower with sinking feelings in my stomach. was it all the mentos i had? was it something else.
my reflection is leaving town for godknowshowlong next week. i feel empty, i feel lost. i feel like something important is leaving me. something like losing your shadow i think.
today i drowned in a sea of tears while beth orton sang to me. the stars all seem to weep. when there's so much love to give there's never anytime for sleep. too much leaves an empty hollow hunger. toomuchisneverenough
today i drowned in sea of tears
today i drowned in a sea of memory
today i drowned in
you
today i remember how it hurts to say goodbye like the same sharp swords that sent me reeling a couple of years ago.
today i remember you so well. your colour, your smell. your warmth and your heat. your coolness and coldness too.
i remember you turning around in bed, with me wrapped around you and my heart clinging to you like a leaf to a tree.
i will remember for always
today
Why is it that i meet people who see right through me and each time i feel stripped bare and staring blankly into space? There is nothing between me and the path of desolation.
